I must be getting really old
Because this morning someone heard me say
Something about the "young folks" And how they dress today!

I must be getting really old
Because today I went to Sears
And bought stretchy slacks with elastic waist
Guaranteed to last for years!

I know I'm getting old...
I had my eyes examined and could barely read the chart
I thought the thing upon his wall
Was some kind of modern art!

I know I'm getting old
Because someone heard me say
From now on I'm wearing sneakers
I've thrown all my heels away!

I know I've gotten older
Cause I got a VIP
Magazine subscription
From the AARP!